One of my favorite literary moments is found in Watership Down. You know, the book about the rabbits searching for a safe place to call home. The moment occurs after our band of rabbits have escape their birth warren only to have one of their foes, Captain Holly, show up again wanting to join them. Captain Holly tells our protagonists of the harrowing events that to led to him having a change of heart and understanding. He concludes his story by saying to Bigwig:
"It wasn't I who tried to arrest you, Bigwig--that was another rabbit, long, long ago."
The simplicity of this statement that points to the complexities of an individual's progression resonates with me. Particularly, that moment when you know you are no longer as before. That you are anew. I've had a handful of these moments in my life. Each of them memorialized in my narrative as a great wonder of my progression.
A few years ago I was preparing to make further covenants in my faith. This required me to participate in a year long soul searching and cleansing repentance process. I had used the atonement of Jesus Christ before to heal wounds inflected by others. This was the first time I was seeking the sacrifice of Jesus Christ to atone for my own actions. It was a painful, edifying and miraculous journey, a gift really, that led to my becoming a new woman.
I learned that humility is a master teacher, that forgiveness is always possible and that God's love has no limits and knows no bounds.
"...however many chances you think you have missed, however many mistakes you feel you have made or talents you think you don’t have, or however far from home and family and God you feel you have traveled, I testify that you have not traveled beyond the reach of divine love. It is not possible for you to sink lower than the infinite light of Christ’s Atonement shines." - Jeffrey R. Holland
I have witnessed the validity of Holland's statement in my life and the lives of others. Christ's atonement is restorative and the means by which I found lasting internal peace.
I'm a covenant maker and a covenant keeper. I'm actively seeking to develop godly attributes - imperfectly, but no less committed to this work. Like, Captain Holly, I too can say:
"It wasn't I who was cavalier with my faith and covenants--that was another woman, long, long ago."
This was possible because of the sacrificial atonement of Jesus Christ and the experiential knowledge I gained from accepting that sacrifice and allowing it to work its miracle in my life.
It's all because of Him.
At this Easter/Passover season, I wish all of you joy and growth.